A Letter To My Younger Self About Finding Light After Abuse

This is a letter by Veronica Schoen at age 23 to her younger self at 17.


Dear Veronica,

You are in a very dark place, and you don’t know how to escape.  You are a prisoner inside your own head, telling yourself life isn’t worth it.  You’re in an abusive relationship with your boyfriend, and will be for two and a half years, because in your mind he is the only one who loves you.  Your parents are going through a divorce, and have more on their minds than you.

You will leave your boyfriend with the help of a school counselor.  But then you jump into another guy’s arms six months later, who will mentally abuse you for four years.  Life seems to carry nothing but pain.  The only thing you don’t realize is that you are creating it all for yourself.  Not once do you believe that you are beautiful, funny, intelligent, or that there is a purpose for your existence.  The physical pain you once did to yourself, the drug abuse to find an escape, was never the real you.  You didn’t want to live past the age of 21, because you thought the pain was never going to end.

Well, guess what Veronica, you are 23 now, and you are still here.  You made it.  You gave yourself a second chance to live, because you got rid of everything standing in your way.  The people you allowed to have such a huge effect on you are gone.  The pain in your heart is now gone.

You are, and always will be, a beautiful, funny, intelligent person, and your existence does matter.  You know how hard life can be, but you have the tools to overcome it from now on.  Yes, you learned everything very young, but your past is what made you.  Before, life was a burden, and now it is nothing but endless possibilities.  Here’s to you, Veronica, for being someone at the age of 23 who you would have looked up to at the age of 16, when all this started to happen.

With neverending amounts of love,

Veronica

 

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