I’ve been stuck on Success Step 4: “You know you are not like everyone else.” This is what cosmetics entrepreneur Bobbi Brown tells herself in high school, meaning ‘You are not tall, blonde, athletic and capable of comprehending Algebra, like all your friends.’ Nor was she smart in science, or a words person like her attorney father. She suffered from learning challenges. In short Bobbi’s message is about accepting—and eventually reveling in—your most humiliating differences.

So here’s my problem: I feel utterly undistinctive. Mind-numbingly insipid. I know that Bobbi’s message is supposed to make me throw out my arms and warmly embrace my flaws, even if they are kicking and screaming about being dragged into the light. But when I read “You are not like everyone else,” I don’t think about how hug-worthy those flaws are. I think of how my brother-in-law used to refer to a tiresome guest.

“You mean Mr. Ring. Mr. Beau Ring.”

Except in my case it would be Ms. Beau Ring. It’s as if someone put a worn, flannel blanky where my sparkling personality is supposed to be.

But, never fear! Because anything is possible in this virtual world, I’m simply going to assemble my favorite quirks, talents and attributes from women I love and—presto!—perform an Ellyn Renovation.

Why dwell on the Before picture when the After Ellyn is going to be so mahhhvelous. Let’s call her Ms. Nating. Ms. Fassi Nating.

Diane Keaton I’ve put a lot of half-inch deep thought into this and I’m starting at the purely superficial level: I love that she dresses kooky. Cinched belts and full skirts would never work on me, but I adore her intricate outfits that consistently disregard current fashion. I used to dress like this, not at Diane Keaton’s level, of course, but then fell into the middle-aged rut of ordering from catalogs, wearing black and looking in the mirror as little as possible. Plus, I envy Diane’s chief hobby, which is buying, fixing up and decorating houses. Post Renovation Ellyn will spend a lot of time trying on outfits in the mirror and wearing her quirky ensembles to stone quarries, salvage yards and open houses.

Frida Kahlo Another fabulous dresser, of course, Frida wore her almost cartoonishly native costumes with perfect self-assurance. Her confidence in herself in the face of lifelong pain and medical challenges and a philandering artist husband, Diego Rivera, whose talent was far more widely acclaimed than Frida’s, is a marvel. Frida was born knowing she was not like everyone else, and assiduously cultivated her unique contribution to the world. My After portrait will be complete with just a fraction of her talent and boldness in being herself.

Joyce Dingley Spragins Yup, my mom. It’s a total cliché to say that your mother was loving. But Mom’s unconditional love for her family and her kindness to the neglected person in a room or in the community seem to me to be more heroic the older I get. Post Renovation Ellyn will definitely need a bigger quota of these qualities so that everyone will forgive her for wearing such odd outfits and being so impenetrably secure.

I’m starting to feel more interesting already. Who do you want to come back as in your next life?