Meryl Zausner
Chief Financial Officer of Novartis Corporation in the US

Read a letter by Meryl, about being a mother after the death of her husband.

In 1985 Meryl's husband, Stuart, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. From 1985 to 1999 he went through surgeries and experimental treatments while continuing to work, for the most part, every day. But eventually he lost the battle. Meryl's letter is addressed to herself at 43, one year after Stuart's death in 1999 when her son, Ethan, was 9.

Dear Meryl,

    There are so many lessons learned from those years that you were caring for your ailing love of your life, raising a child and trying to keep your career going. You always knew in the back of your mind that Stuart's illness would eventually progress and he would leave you and Ethan.

    I am happy that you do not have too many regrets about how you handled day to day life during those last two years of his life, but you know now that you sometimes used work as an escape from life. It was best for him that you worked, so that you could give yourself to him when you were home, as well as pay the mounting bills.

    Please don't feel like you were never in the right place, but you need to spend more time with Ethan. They grow up so fast and can do this without you, but he really needs you. Although he is young, he watches the events around him and becomes scared that you will leave him too. Remember that first time you had to get on an airplane to Switzerland, after firing your baby-sitter that morning and leaving him with your 18 year old niece? You were in a new job, resurrecting the ambition you had before Stuart fell ill, and committed to providing a comfortable and safe life for Ethan. Don't go - cancel your trip and stay home with him.

    I know now that for several years after Stuart died you spent all of your time either working or with Ethan. It was the right thing to do, but try not to travel and work so much. I know that as time went on, you sometimes had the courage and confidence to pass on a required trip, but do it more often or take him with you.

    You still need to learn this lesson, although he is now a teenager and only wants you around when he needs something, wants you to sit on the sidelines at soccer games, wants to be driven somewhere or wants you to stay in your room so that he can entertain his friends downstairs. You need to be there for all of this. You are the parent. Keep remembering that that job title never changes.

With Love,

Meryl